Friends are family that you get to choose, so when you create a support group it must contain people who wish for your happiness. Not those that pray for your downfall. As they go through adversity and go through obstacles that require tough decision-making, social groups one of the many things that are affected and the people you chose to surround yourself with.
Friendship contributes to the meaning of life. They offer social and emotional support, alleviate loneliness, and make you feel better and more content with your life. Maintaining social relationships can even help you live longer and reduce your chances of mental and physical health issues, such as depression and high blood pressure. Some friendships may not have a positive impact. Others may be outright poisonous. Toxic friendships can take many shapes, but they always deplete your mental energy and have a tendency to drag you down rather than lift you up.
How To Recognize Toxic Friendships
Toxic friends continuously try to bring you harm — whether intentional or unintentional. We all have good and bad days, and we all deal with them differently. Real friends would care about how you are feeling so that they can try to make things better. How do you recognize a person that’s just having a bad day vs a truly toxic person?
They are the Main Character of Everyone’s Story
Be observant of friends who only shows up when things are going well for them or when they want something from you. They may contact you for an hour to discuss their difficulties, then even give a half-hearted “how are you?” before going back to their existence. Similarly, when you need them, these individuals are frequently unavailable. Giving and receiving support is essential for maintaining strong and secure relationships, regardless of who the individual is.
You nor your Boundaries are Respected
Mutual respect is an essential component of every healthy relationship. Friends may mistakenly believe that ignoring your limits is a sign of intimacy when, in reality, they are taking advantage of you. Perhaps a buddy pushes you to go out while you’re trying to relax and rest, or they steal your clothes and jewelry without asking. It may appear that they regard being near enough to you to access your time and possessions as a badge of honor, but at the end of the day, you feel disrespected, unheard, and uncared for. Such a buddy may not have malicious motives, but their impolite behavior cannot be overlooked.
Trying to Change Who You are
If you’re in a toxic relationship, your friend may be pushing you to pretend to be someone you’re not. They may know your dislikes and place you in awkward circumstances, or they may ask you to speak, dress, or conduct differently. While it is necessary for friends to criticize and push one other to quit potentially harmful behaviors, it becomes destructive when they force you to sacrifice your character.
You Feel Uncomfortable Around Them
In general, spending time with a close buddy should make you feel happy. Perhaps spending time with a specific acquaintance makes you feel nervous or disturbed. Consider taking a deeper look at yourself and your friends if you detect this uneasy sensation. Do you feel uneasy because you don’t know what to expect, or because you don’t feel safe? Before you decide that this relationship is toxic, look for additional signals that something isn’t quite right.
They Constantly Gossip and Criticize Others
Gossip frequently fosters mistrust and suspicion, especially if your acquaintance is continually gossiping about others. If you hear them talk negatively about others, it’s simple to believe they’ll talk negatively about you to others and can’t be trusted with your secrets. Sometimes you don’t hear your buddy talking about someone else, but you do hear knowledge about yourself from someone with whom you haven’t shared it. Nothing destroys confidence in a friendship more quickly than frequent gossip.
They Don’t Admit to Their Mistake
We all make mistakes, but part of valuing our friends is admitting them, apologizing, and committing to better behavior in the future. Toxic friends, on the other hand, avoid apologizing or respond with a sarcastic “sorry” when you call them out on their conduct. Instead of considering your point of view, they’ll remark, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or follow up with a defensive “but.” These non-apologies imply that your buddy is unconcerned about how their actions affect you.
They Constantly Put You Down
Toxic friends, unlike other people in your network of friends, rarely congratulate or applaud you. In fact, they never give you motivation or congratulate you on your accomplishments. Instead, they’re more likely to step on you when you’re down and almost never make you feel good about yourself. They may also sulk when others encourage you.
What Should be the Next Action?
Everyone has flaws and is prone to making mistakes from time to time. In fact, it’s critical to be self-aware to ensure that you’re not the toxic person in your connection. Take the time to go over these points as if they were directed at you, and seek methods to avoid these habits and be a better friend. If you discover obvious toxic tendencies in a friend, it’s time to have a chat with them. You are aware of your friend’s mental and emotional triggers. Keep these triggers in mind as you prepare to engage in a conversation with them. And if they refuse to heed your warning then by all means you have permission to ghost them and never talk to them ever again! Your peace is just as important as anyone else and you should never forget that.
